James Thomas Fallon

For some reason everyone in NY hates Jimmy Fallon. Everyone says he's a big douche, but as far as I know he's harmless. I remember when I first moved to the City I used to go to Shout every Sunday after the Tinkle show** with David and Sarah, Maya Hayuk, Shonali, Demetri Martin, Eugene (the Mirmanator!), Heather Lawless and our whole big group of Jewy comedian friends. We'd spazz out in front of all the longhaired skinny rockers and their electroclash girlfriends who were all dressed like the singer of Missing Persons. White patent leather kitten heels with black tights and striped skirts ring a bell ladies? I loved those days.

Anyhow, there were tons of hot rocker chicks at Shout, not just dudes. And who was always there surrounded by those brown-haired Zeppelinesque girls with "the chopblock" haircut of 2002, stacked-heel boots and white lace Gunne Sax blouses? Fallon. Every week. And everyone looooved him back then, but somehow after he hosted the MTV Video Music Awards something changed.

The first evidence of the Fallon dissention (for me) took place on the corner of 3rd and Ave A. There was a phone booth there at that time that had print ad space, and Jimmy was filling it that month. I assumed he was the darling of lower New York until I noticed that someone had drawn a moustache over his smile. It started with that until eventually I noticed everyone turning on him, and quickly. Nowadays its taboo to say his name on the streets.

Anyhow, I thought it was weird that I never think of Jimmy Fallon much less hear gossip about him, then all of a sudden it's Jimmy Fallon Week on the Veevs Channel. First I heard a joke about him, next day I hear a story, then see him on TV last night before the movie. Today (I'm in Montauk for the weekend again) we ran into Chrissie, A-Ron and Jen Brill on the beach, and Jen tells us the very joke I'd heard earlier this week and am about to share with you guys. Anyhow, here it is:

Pal: KNOCK KNOCK!

Me: WHO'S THERE?

Pal: JIMMY FALLON

Me: JIMMY FALLON WHO?

Pal: THAT'S SHOWBIZ!!!

(must do jazz hands and give a hootenanny to make this joke work)

This second JF tidbit is a story that my friend told me on IM which I have cut and pasted below:

So Jimmy Fallon is at this late night recording session with my friends' band hanging out in the studio and whatnot, and he starts obsessing about ...wait...this story is steeped in background info and it might not be that funny...ok anyway...

So he starts obsessing about the Talk Box (its an effect, doesn't matter), which Peter Frampton famously used on that "Live" album. Also, he had recently met Joe Walsh of the Eagles, and was bragging about it to the band. (btw… The Eagles? Who cares?)

So he goes, "Joe Walsh will know where we can get a Talk Box let's call him" and they're all, "Really?"

He's all set on calling Joe Walsh, mainly to show off that he's got his number and to ask about this Talk Box. It's late in NY, but Walsh lives in LA so he goes for it.

He makes the call and has to apologize for calling so late and explain who he is and how they met, etc.

Anyhow he's on the phone with him and goes, "Hey Joe, where can I get a Talk Box?"

And Walsh says, "You're in NY?"

Fallon thinks for some reason that this old guy's got some inside track to old rad gear for some reason...

So Walsh says, "You're in NY?"

and Fallon says, "Yeah!" all excited

and Walsh says, "Uhhh... Guitar Center? In Union Square?"

AAAHHHH HHHHAAAAA!!!!

Good one, right?

Xo

** Tinkle was a comedy show that David put on with Jon Benjamin and Todd Barry every Sunday night at Piano's. I was living with David when I first moved to the City so I inherited all of his comedian friends. Anyhow, when I was Fashion Director at Vice there was a huge Dodgeball competition (Tokion, V Magazine, PS-1, Nom De Guerre, and other media/fashion peeps participated). Saul asked me to be captain of the Vice team, but I had to choose between family and work, so I chose to be on the Tinkle team with my cousin and his feeble, old, hairy, Jewish pals. This turned out to be a wise decision, as Vice lost in the first round and Tinkle made it into the Final Four against the Café Habana team. Café Habana cheated and had ringers and some brutal guy who threw the ball SO hard we started calling him "The Annhialator."

Anyhow, we got the crowd to start chanting "CHEATERS! CHEATERS! CHEATERS!" Against Team Habana. The crowd was bezerk for us, I swear. Plus, we looked awesome because Built by Wendy made our uniforms (Wendy even baked us pies) and we had cheerleaders. We had super stupes signs like "Tinkle Pisses on your Team" and had cheers like "Go Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Go Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Tinkle on the left (uh!) Tinkle on the right (uh!) Go team Tinkle! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! We lost to a record label, but that day EVERYONE LEFT FEELING LIKE A WINNER! (oof. blarf. ugh. yilch).