Cerafanakis Sandwich, Tangent Alert.

Sorry to be the world's most generic unoriginal 'blogger' by reposting a video but this is seriously dreamy.

Now can we talk about how much I hated Juno? It grew on me story-wise but that unconvincing twerp who played the main character made me cringe. No 16 year old has such an incredibly aloof attitude toward, well, everything. Give me a figgin break. "Yo I'm like totally preggo. Anyhow whatever." Okkkeeeyyyy. The only believable line she had was when she said Sonic Youth sucked and it was just a bunch of noise. I can imagine that teenagers might actually think that. Right? That's generationally probable.

Otherwise the dialogue was unbearably cutesy and sounded like it was written by a vegan from Seattle who hates everything. No thanks. I know, I know. The 29 yr old chick who wrote it tried stripping just so she could write about the experience. How JT LeRoy. A stripper who LOVES the Moldy Peaches. How unpredictable and quirky!

It was also frustrating that Juno is SO beautiful, because it made her irreverence seem that much more over the top. Everyone knows that extremely hot chicks don't act that flippant. They just don't. Not even if they're angry coked-up (possibly lesbian) power cunt cultural assassins like Ann Coulter. I honestly watched Jennifer Garner to see if she was buying it in real life and I swear she looked personally irritated during a few scenes.

Sorry you guys, I know everyone loves it, but this is coming from a woman who cringed through Napolean Dynamite, rolled her eyes through most of Little Miss Sunshine, stopped having a crush on Jason Schwartzman after I Heart Huckabees, and wanted to punch Miranda July after seeing Me You and Everyone We Know. Justin and I laughed so hard at all the contrived and so-purposefully-awkward-it-was-awkward heart-string emo parts of that movie that the audience turned against us as a unified vigilante hissing army. And we were being quiet and holding it in! Tears of laughter and all!*

By the way, I'm in California til Feb.

*Fine. Miranda July's blog is totally neat but can we stop with the white suburban angst parties? Sheesh I'm getting fake-depressed about all this fake depression. I guess rich white people bore easily.