Who has Grand Theft Auto 4?

Dear You,

I want to come over to your house and pop you popcorn and buy you beer and screen your calls and return your texts so you don't have to move or get up or do anything other than play Grand Theft Auto 4 in front of my face.

Reason #1: It never gets old. I used to sit for hours at a time and watch my cousin play Vice City until he would start shaking and complain about his eyesight. He'd be like 'I can't do this anymore its worse than Tetris' and I'd be like 'Pleeeeaaaassseee just do one more task' and he'd be like 'god damnit'' and I'd be like 'Aws!' and we'd sit there for two more hours. One time we played for 8 hours (not cool).

Reason # 2: I'm in it! I play two characters. One is a street walker who says lewd things like 'who do I gotta blow to get outta this mess?' They tried to make me have a Puerto Rican accent but I was nervous so I went the Rosie Perez route and the director hated it. I also play a big fat Jewish girl who says things like 'Scuse me, sorry. Must be the weight.' Either way, I got typecast. Just kidding family! Everyone knows Jewish girls aren't easy (cough, cough).

Anyhow, if you want me to sit and stare at your TV for half a day/night until the revenge you seek has been sought, I'm all yours.