10 Reasons To Leave New York On the Weekends

By Ramona Sidlo and Aviva Yael

1. MONTAUK ISN'T CRAWLING WITH RATS

2. TOURIST BUTT = WIDE LOAD

3. NOBODY "SUPPORTS THE SCENE" AT THE OCEAN AND WHO GIVES A SHIT ANYHOW? EMBARASSING.

4. SWEATY STREET MEAT ≠ FARM FRUITS IN THE CATSKILLS

5. NO MATTER HOW EARLY YOU GET TO A MOVIE YOU'RE STUCK SITTING FRONT ROW, THREE SEATS APART FORM WHOEVER YOU CAME WITH

6. THE SIGHT OF THE SAME 15 BLOGGABLE SCENESTERS EVERYWHERE MAKES US WANT TO MOVE TO A BIGGER TOWN

7. SMELLING LEMONS AND TANNING OIL IS NICER THAN SMELLING DEAD DOGS

8. BBQS IN THE HAMPTONS BEATS SNORTING COKE OFF OF ARTHAG NIPS

9. BRUNCH IS A THREE HOUR ENDEAVOR

10. THE BAR CRAWL BETWEEN THE FISH, BACARO, AND SWEET PARADISE IS THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE OF NEW YORK