Facebook is the worst, really.

I did it I cut the cord! I deleted about 50 people that I couldn't remember meeting, and anyone who added me for professional networking reasons. I only want bros leaving me comments and encroaching on my personal life, not people I have tricked into thinking into I'm a boring normy for work purposes. It takes all the fun out of riffing, you know?

I already have 600 friends, all of whom I actually know. Do I need strangers too? How did it come to be that I know this many people in the first place. I only have about 30 people I think about on a regular basis in rotation and about 10 who I can't live without.

I'm sure I accidentally lost a few actual buddies, so if I made a mistake I'm sorry, but I just had to purge the randoms. It felt so good! The more I deleted the faster the process went. I stopped looking at mutual friends, how we met, and trying to place people and eventually got to if-I-don't-know-your-last-name slashing. I removed all bands I don't personally know and even some I do. I got rid of a couple of people I know for sure were creeping on me, people who obsessively update their status with lame shit (Hi Merlin Bronques from LastNightsParty, I don't need to know that you're drinking champers in a hotel room in Vegas with Daphne and Amber every night).

I also noticed some people who weren't there anymore. They'd probably either grown drunk with the power of the Delete function as I had or maybe they decided that FB is infantile, which it is. But who cares? The less, the merrier! We're free from our obligatory social networking friendships now. Let the witty commentary, pee pee jokes and inappropriate recaps about "last nights insanity" commence!

xx

Update: I just saw this in today's Gawker I'm so goddamn immature!