Pretty Girls Make Your World Go Round








Being a girl has it's burdens. We're the ones responsible for making sure no one's crying, everything's fine. Sure we get dumped, and sometimes guys get obsessed* with us (which is about the most impersonal "emotion" in existence). We break people's hearts too, which sucks, but all that madness turns us into wise old ladies.

Ever talk to an old lady? If you enjoy scandalous storytimes steeped in pragmatic wisdom, get drunk with a sexy French grandmother in the Marais. You can stop worrying about infidelity and lust- it's not that big of a deal according to the old ladies I've spoken to. I take that back- my grannies were really old fashioned and believe in commitment and doing the right thing. They would literally come back from the dead and chop a block off anyone who hurt me.

When I'm old I'll tell my granddaughters about how boys cry for us when we're young and to indulge themselves in the drama of it all because someday they'll have to man up when it's time to make babies. I'll tell them when they're married not to stop lusting after their husbands; not to forget to be their husband's girlfriends. When you stop lusting for them they get bored and sneak away, guilt and all. They still need us to buckle when they look us. That's one of the best parts of being a girl- seeing your dude look at you like you're the most beautiful little button in the world. I get butterflies when my boyfriend looks at me like that.

I probably wouldn't make it if I was born a guy, playing with my weenie and shoving my feelings down my throat all day. I'd rather have boobs and corny crafternoons with my girlfriends over being a guy anytime. Not that I don't have my moments of jealousy- men can lift large things and they are seemingly better at getting their own HBO series than us ladies.

Anyhow, started talking about love (just got out of a romcom), but what I meant to say is that girls make pretty things and pretty makes the world go round. See links above for further proof. Send your favorite chick jams to my AIM at teenangster4 between the hours of 9am-6pm PST.

* Hodgkinson recommends realizing that one who loves obsessively has not fallen in love with a real person, but rather an illusion. It is estimated that up to 90% of obsessive love is motivated by projection. The obsessed is not falling in love with their target because of any salient properties of the target, but for what that target represents to the obsessed.