Merkin it up with the Merkalator

Still on the plane. It's been four hours.

I’m stuffed in the center of the second row between an Indian grandmother and a Singaporese gentleman who are my new best friends now. They’re the best, no joke. We've shared today's Times, we pass each other stuff from the flight attendants, everyone practically hugs when someone wants to get up to pee. It’s like we’re in a contest to win the Friendliest Most Polite Passenger In Our Row award. So I just saw The Soloist and being someone who hates crying at movies and can’t stand Jamie Foxx, I thought I’d be safe from any kind of tears. Mistaken. I have a soft spot for the mentally ill and despite what you think of the acting the story was really inspiring. Niagara Falls in here! AMIRITE AMIRITE?!? Judge away, assholes.

Anyhow I teared up a little. You know, like your mom watching Sophie’s Choice with you and your little brother violently weeping kind of tears. Ha! I wish! Can you imagine me actually sobbing like that as the credits are rolling? Just holding my row hostage with unwarranted loud woman tears? Hahahaha they wouldn’t know what to do. Total victims.

Moving along, Leo is on my flight. I assume he’s DJing the Opening Ceremony party. Saw him at the gate but haven’t said hi to him yet because I didn’t know if it was going to be a full flight or not and if you say hi to someone before boarding it means you end up sitting together. It’s some unspoken obligatory acquaintance rule. I mean, we’re more than acquaintances- he DJ’d my book release party and we have lots of mutual friends, but we don’t call each other and maybe he wants to sleep instead of playing catchup. I don’t want to sit next to anyone I know on a plane. Ever. I just want to read my book, blog, and cry on my neighbors’ blankets at the end of sad movies. Will say hi after. For now, here’s Merks!

Meryl came to LA to sculpt these amazing creatures for Spike's short film. You'll die when you see them. Anyhow, everyone calls her Merks so when she stayed with me I said we were really "Merkin it up" at our little slumber parties. She starts cracking up and goes "Do you know what a Merkin is?"

Oh, it's just a PUBE WIG, nobig. Shall we?

Went to Coach & Horses the neighborhood dive and ran into Braydon. By the time we left we were so drinky we ravaged 7-11 for food beer and cigarettes. Don't know where he got those handling gloves.




Hot Anime

MERKS DOING A MERKIN!

We did before and afters with my glasses. Is this tedious for you? No? You love the minutae? Great! Well how fun is this post so far? ohmygodohmygod PARTY!

BEFORE:

AFTER

BEFORE:

AFTER:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

So what about this thing that Braydon's friend made him? WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

Beachtimes! Meryl made a man out of beach detritus. I told you she's a mermaid!

Super sessy beach bunnies. Check out Camille's Brazilian booty! SHE'S SINGLE NOT TO BE A MENSCH BUT SHE'S ON THE MARKET FELLAS.


You're welcome




College tip: go to the gigantic Whole Foods in Venice and eat an entire dinner by grazing the 8 million free samples in each department.

Ran into Mor from Ladies Choir who I'd shot the day before in Los Feliz. And there we both were in Venice Beach. WTF? Also ran into Amber and her friend Beau. They were on their way to a poetry jam.

Went to Spike's set to turn in Meryl's paperwork and watch Aska's band perform for a scene. When we got there it was dinner time.

Lobster and shrimp fritters w ponzu for the crew, not too shabs

Aska

Spike directing the Moonrats


Waiting, waiting, waiting. We jumped into the crowd when they started shooting so maybe this is my big break. Background crowd member in club.

David and his nice girlfriend whose name I can't remember

In the trailer

The location was in a creepy abandoned building. It was really dark and recess-y on some floors and looked like the Punkersdorf Sanitorium. At some point Meryl was on the top floor where they were shooting in the stairwell, which was the only way downstairs to the exit, and I was outside in the trailer. It was getting late and I went in to go get her. I made it upstairs somehow but couldn't find her. Turns out we were trapped on two different sides of the building with the shoot happening in between. I texted her "where the fuck are you? How do I get there?" and she texted back "TOWARD THE DARKNESS!" She wasn't kidding. I had to cross some black echoing abyss to get her which was super pleasant.

Threw a party for Lenski while Merks was here but have to post that later. Last day was goodbye brunch w Merks and Spanky:


Merks making goodbye sadface. The good times are over. We had the best visit and I was so happy for her. I've posted about her before, but I can't stress enough what a talented amazing person she is. I hope she becomes a famous artist someday and lives in an atelier in Paris so I can visit her and drink wine before 2pm.

I miss you already Merkles. I love youuuuuuu