Last Tuesday I smoked pot for the first time in ever. Sorry future employers, clients, boyfriends and families of my future boyfriends who may find this on the internet, but it happened. Don't worry, I can't handle my high so it's not going to become a "thing." Ever since high school I've hated pot because it  has exactly two effects on me: 1) I judge everyone around me with unwarranted self-righteousness 2) faceplant into a cold, itchy, exhaustion that sweeps over me like a punch in the face. Nonetheless, Elizabeth came over and we smoked a joint and BOOM: two turds sitting motionless, YouTubing Parfums De Coeur ads from the 80s.

The following two hours were comprised of failed attempts at going to the Gracefully deli across the street. We really wanted to move, but were only capable of Googling Gracefully and reading the reviews aloud to each other. Edgy!

Being rendered physically useless is exactly why I don't smoke weed. It's so incredibly annoying. Eventually I threw a trench coat over my floral long johns (nice image, no?) and tripped balls in the rain half a block to our destiny. Came back with a pint of vanilla ice cream, a jar of peanut butter, and a bag of pretzels, which we mixed back home on the couch. $30. worth of crap later things got majorly delishaaaaassssss. It was a fucking cornucopia of savory snacks.

Anyhow, NEW YORK! Here are some highlights from the last few weeks... 

Andrew Kuo begrudgingly DJ'd a party for me at the Korres store in Soho (we're going back to the 15th here). We got in a fight about Where the Wild Things Are not long after this photo was taken. 


Anecdote: Crystal's emotionally unavailable ex-boyfriend made that Emotionally Unavailable sticker, which we found the same night that the guy she was dating told her he was emotionally unavailable. Laughter ensued.


Merks and I made a list of all our pals who were going to Neckface's Halloween show in Miami. I was all excited and bought a ticket, then realized that all but 3 people on that list were girls. I mean, I love the bros and all but I wasn't super jazzed about having to hang with 99% boys. I feared boredom and regrettable default makeouts. SO BASICALLY THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT MERYL.

I have to say I'm glad I didn't go because I got texts starting Friday morning that A-Ron didn't actually give us hotel rooms- he rented out a fucking YOUTH HOSTEL. I would have died. Not because I don't like to sleep in just any old filthy flop house with countless unwashed backpackers' sex sheets, but because I have mild OCD when it comes to public bathrooms (I have to wear a space suit, basically) and the hostel had ONE SHARED BATHROOM. This is the kind of thing that ruins friendships and ends in tears and long, lonesome cab rides to the airport. So that's nice.


Went to one of Ryan McGinness' themed parties. We sang 100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall as he passed them out by number. I did something I've always kind of wanted to do since summercamp- timed it. Took about 12 minutes.


Saw Peter every day for a week straight after I landed. Where is he now?

Best of the best, Tasha Cain. I love this guy.


Brunch at Ramona's in Ft Greene. I've been hanging in BK a lot this trip- more than when I actually lived here. Ft. Greene is the cutest, but like Williamsburg, is headed toward Park Slope Stroller Wars territory. I mean, it's one more trendy restaurant away from becoming Honkeytown. Where did everyone move to? Queens? This exponential whitewashing of New York is turning it into San Francisco yo.

This little Victorian on Clinton St is directly across from Ramona's palace. They do a Haunted House every year that is completely bezerk and the whole hood gets into it. Makes me want to be 8 again.

 Speaking of eight year olds, we got our fortunes read at the flea market. Ramona's still not rich and famous. I still don't live in a glass house in the hills. Fishy...



Asiadog at Brooklyn Flea. $4.00 Kosher beef with Asian slaw and God's most perfect foodsauce, Sriracha.

by the way, Ramona is a giant jock

Had a little party at the Ear Inn, one of my favorite places to go in the winter. It's the second oldest bar in Manhattan and has good legend. I always think about how many people have died there. I mean, George Washington slept upstairs and I bet there were all sorts of hookers and drunken politicians and captains who were drunkenly stabbed in those rooms (my mind is a delicate flower).

I threw a 15-person oyster party at Marlow & Sons. Super fun times. Andrew, Andrew, and my old bestie Maya



Justin and Sammy

Babycakes with Shay's adorable little Dakota. I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN A CUTER CHILD? There were 3 other little blond babies in the restaurant, but Dakota cheeked them all out of the place. Also, had a deleechay eyeful of Alexa Chung. She is incredibly beautiful in person, it's sick. I mean she's so hot it's kind of nuts. Moving along...

Mark and Cheeks



Erin Mark and Chris

Mark started a fund for me. He enjoys telling people that I'm either adopted or poor when I meet them, especially cute guys. We raised $3.84 that night toward my $800,000 tab. Mark your efforts do not go unnoticed.

Please help our really poor friend Aviva Yael. God bless her soul.