The Internet made sweet, sweet love to me today

WARNING: this will only be entertaining to all music writers (UGH), all white guys in college and most people who live between Bedford Ave and Ludlow Street. I don't typically impose my personal trash reads upon you guys, but this is a comedy emergency. 

From Flavorwire:








Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Indie Bands, Part 2
11:28 am Monday Jun 14, 2010 by Stelios Phili
We thought no one was left unscathed after Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Indie Bands: Part 1. Fortunately, we were very, very wrong. Last time, we called out Vampire Weekend fans for their ever-subtle Pete & Pete pickup lines, but this time we’ve taken the invective even farther. (Well, hello, Sleigh Bells fans!) Again, in collaboration with Jeff Luppino-Esposito and in tribute to Internet genius Lauren Letoand her “Stereotyping People By Their Favorite authors,” we rebel against the misguided notion that stereotyping isn’t an awesome idea.






Black Lips


Guys who don’t get jobs because their potential employer discovered photos of them bro icing on Facebook.

Wolf Parade

People who throw a shitfit when someone suggests that there are too many indie bands named after animals.

Hot Chip


Men who used the cheat code to see naked, poorly-rendered 3D figures showering in The Sims.

Best Coast

The girl who tries to hook up with that same sweaty dude by bragging about her cat.

Toro Y Moi

Deceptively straight males who think “riding the chillwave” is a national pastime.

The National

Dudes who would rather play chess than Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Drinking Game.

Ninjasonik

Guys who are always worried they accidently impregnated their girlfriends.

Crystal Castles

Bitches who think it’s okay to scratch guys who misbehave. And the boys who buy them soy lattes.

Sleigh Bells

Chicks and dudes who semi-ironically aspire to “Superman dat ho” at an indie rock concert.

MGMT

Pre-Congratulations: 81% of College Freshmen. Post-Congratulations: Guys who consider the ability to store 13 pencils in their hair to be an evolutionary advantage.

Dan Deacon

Smelly, un-self-aware hipsters who wear mal-fitting baseball caps and probably attend SUNY Purchase.

Of Montreal

Guys who bought kaliedscopes with their Chuck E. Cheese tickets.

Broken Social Scene

People who fantasize about riding an eight-person, single-gear bicycle to the Brooklyn Bowl.

Cat Power

Mediocre-looking girls who put Zooey Deschanel as their doppelganger on Facebook.

Iron and Wine

Grown men who always get roped into being the DD for “Ladies Night Out” with their mother and her coworkers from Office Depot.

Pavement

Stay-at-home dads.

M. Ward

Lonely, chronic masturbators who end up settling for the Cat Power chicks.

Sonic Youth

Guys who mistake their blender for a radio.

Modest Mouse

People who expressed legitimate concern regarding the state of humanity when J.D. Salinger died.








Fiery Furnaces


Those dicks who still won’t smile, even after you acknowledge their apathy with the “Woah, don’t get too excited!” joke.

The Pixies

Dudes who feel the need to comment on how advanced Ren & Stimpy was whenever someone discusses their love for Lilo & Stich.

Belle & Sebastian


People who have ended their tweets on multiple occasions with #BringBackMessengerBags.

Dinosaur Jr.

Guys who refused to go on Xbox Live with Halo 2 because it eliminated the community aspect of LAN parties.

The Hold Steady

Dads who coach the baseball team, even though their kid sucks.

Feist

Chicks who”didn’t agree with the ending” of (500) Days of Summer.

Elliott Smith


People who felt really bad for Buzz Lightyear when he discovered he couldn’t actually fly. And think Toy Story 3 is a step backwards for Pixar.

Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy)


Guys who use the term “breasts” instead of “boobs” out of respect for their girlfriends.

Magnetic Fields

People who “discover” new bands via NPR.

Chromeo


Guys who initially used the word “bro” ironically and lost sight of their intentions shortly thereafter.

Panda Bear


Young men who know what a 401(k) is.

Neutral Milk Hotel


People who get where Christians are coming from with the whole “hope Jesus will rise again” thing.

Yeasayer


Guys who have proposed The Holy Mountain as an alternative to watching A Kid in King Arthur’s Courtat family get-togethers.

My Morning Jacket


People whose reaction to the Grand Canyon could be summed up as “Eh.”

Before you leave an angry comment complaining that we didn’t offend you, your family, and your pet enough, be sure to check out Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Indie Bands: Part 1.