Scary Clowns, Apes, Teenagers, and IMBOYCRAZY

You're a real bottom feeder, Q.

Perez looks like he just took a 10-day cruise aboard Big Gay Al's Boatride with Blanche Devereaux (RIP) and Pennywise. Doc Martens needs to sue this clown for defaming their brand with his evil yellow duck feet. 

He makes me long to be an old-fashioned old lady from an era (the seventies?) where people bit their tongues as a sign of grace rather than photoshopping cumshots onto paparazzi photos of Britney's bald head as a form of entertainment. I pity some of the women he goes after, like Bethenny Frankel, whose pregnancy was outed before her first trimester. She didn't get to share the announcement with her family- a big deal for most first time parents, no? Just plain cruel, dude. 

Perez Hilton you pink pigtoe, no matter what you say about yourself, your life's work is contributing to a vastly devolving element of our culture that is shameful. You vapid, doughy asshole.

I don't know how I ended up on a tear about someone who is collectively loathed by the general populace, but I'm on a family vacation which means I have tons of time to write about meaningless, aggravating issues like Perez Hilton and people who order filet-mignon well done. I feel strongly about this. If you're going to order the softest possible cut of meat cooked down to the toughness and flavor of a hockey puck, you may as well douse it in salt and A-1 sauce and eat it cold while you're in the bathtub. Why not throw $40 in the garbage and eat some wet pasta instead? Just as enjoyable.

Meanwhile, I am in Seattle, Vancouver, and Portland til Monday. All I did in New York was work and that's all I'm doing today. I had a short but awesome time there and will post pictures of my adventures Monday.

Also, I wrangled my crazy pal Alexi Wasser of IMBOYCRAZY into covering the Red Carpet for BUZZNET at the MTV Movie Awards. Also, MTV's Warren The Ape is going to live tweet from the red carpet and from inside the Movie Awards. Have you seen him? He's a PIG! All I asked him was that he doesn't use the F, B, S, or C words and I was asked if that meant that "cocksucker" was out of the question. So that's nice. 

Follow me on @Buzznet if you want to know more about the neat-o things I do for money (I'm the voice/only Tweeter (??) over there). I love my job so much it's actually corny. GO TEENAGERS!

Have a great weekend guys.