Merry Christmas! Here Is A 5-Part Guide to Avoiding Your Family


Christmas is the day we spend with our families, best friends, the person who gives us the most tingles, or complete strangers who can offer some comfort (usually in a bar or soup kitchen, depending on how you roll). This is a day when we prioritize how much we want to give give give or greedy it up by the tree waiting to rip open pretty boxes we barely deserve. But mostly Christmas is the day when we watch Clark Griswold lose his sh*t on Randy Quaid in Christmas Vacation, the greatest holiday movie of all time.

Depending on how much crazy you have in your family, the holidays can be exhausting. If you are home this holiday and need a break, here are 5 tips on how to avoid your family as much as possible with the best of what Christmas has to offer:

1. Watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation


2. Listen to Holiday Road Over And Over And Over Again
Lindsay Buckingham is a bonafide f-r-e-a-k


Christmas is also the day we listen to Holiday Road and wish our lives were just some 80's movie so we don't have to DILL WITH IT.


3. Watch A Christmas Story At Least Once
It's the Yule Log of holiday movies. Always there to comfort you.


And of course, no matter what sex, age, religion, or race you may be, we can all relate to Ralphie, the protagonist in A Christmas Story. Enjoy TBS' annual 24-hour looping of this killer classic.


4. Learn "The Story of Festivus"


For those of us who don't celebrate Christ's birthday-slash-Walmart's Annual Running of the Hicks, there is FESTIVUS. For the rest of us.


5. Join your new Internet Mom on her Christmas Tree adventure in Long Island.


Personally, I like to bask in the beauty of one of my besties, John Roberts, playing his mother in The Christmas Tree. Here's John kissing everyone by the tree at Chrissie Miller's holiday party. If you aren't one of the 2.8 million Youtube viewers who have witnessed this piece of hilarity, please make sure to click the "play" button. It's the best thing on the Internet... and I'm including CATS.




I'll be relaxing with my family infront of the Yule log sipping mulled wine and reading The Autobiography of Mark Twain (stocking stuffer). It feels so good to be home. Let's all bask in the light of the Yule Log and remember how nice it is to be with the folks we respect and love the most. Also, free food. Tons of free food!


Merry Christmas guys


xx