Italy Gets Smushed: Jersey Shore 4 looks a wee tad unhealthy this season




In season 4 of the Jersey Shore, the cast goes to Florence, Italy to defile the Europeans. Prior clips of the season have been popping up here and there, but the longer trailer premiered last night and no amount of church can save the Italians from what is coming. And by "what" I mean a Snooki/Situation situation, two separate cast members being carted away in stretchers, Ronnie being extra Ronnie, meaning he vacillates between acting like a pet rock, repeating "I'm DONE Sam, I'm done" and being a violent juicehead gorilla. There is also an extremely unappetizing scene of Deena and Pauly D licking each other's tongues. Seriously. I don't think they're kissing I think they are consciously (and hopefully sarcastically) playing Dungeons & Dragonbreath open-mouthed on the dancefloor.


Snooki also refers to a very classy bidet as a very unclassy "doucher" and we see her crying on multiple occasions, including after an arrest of some sort, following an "OMG I DRIVE LIKE A GIRL!" fender bender.


Enjoy us, Italy! We have some very prominent reality TV stars showing you how your spawn has evolved on the other side of the Atlantic. Hope you guys can help the cast find their roots, educate them about their history and elevate their cultural nuances while they drink, fight and make sweet love to one another in Florence.